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In one of his rare articulate moments, Gary Lineker once declared that “Football is a simple game – you play for 120 minutes and then the Germans win on penalties”. Ethical comparison may also well be a simple game – you line up the statistics and then the Germans win on low levels of income inequality, progressive attitudes to gender and forward thinking on the environment.

Sunday’s evening game sees perennial World Cup overachievers Germany take on the great sporting nation of Australia. They may not have the Ballacks this time around, and they were comprehensively outclassed by Spain in the final of their last major tournament, but few would bet against Deutschland progressing once again to the latter stages in South Africa. Australia have had their own injury problems in the run up to the tournament, with Brett Emerton, Tim Cahill and, in surprise news, Harry Kewell, all struggling with various ailments.

As the science wars rumble on in Britain between proponents of alternative medicine and the cause of rational scientific enquiry, Australia appear to be taking a punt on quackery after Harry Kewell’s recent visit to a South African ‘witch doctor’. Despite 15 years of doctors telling him that his body is made of chocolate, it apparently turns out that he has been infected by malign spirits, and is only a message of well wishes from the Australian PM away from full health. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t incredibly excited about this development. If it works out, the NHS could be in line to save a hell of a lot of money. Though Kevin Rudd’s workload may suffer.

Germany sit in 10th place in the Who Should I Cheer For? rankings, behind only the Netherlands and (surprisingly) Spain in the developed world. Australia, mirroring their position in the football world, lie comprehensively towards the bottom in 25th. I was surprised to note Australia’s national income is actually higher than Germany’s, though it’s not exactly a battle of rags versus riches in that regard. However, despite their higher income, Australia has twice the level of inequality as Germany, with the richest 10% earning over 12 times as much as the poorest 10%. Given their somewhat macho national culture, Australia also lag behind Germany in the gender stakes, with less than half the number of sheilas in government. The Germans even showboat to victory in that category with a sheila for a prime minister.

The most significant disparity between the two countries is probably in carbon emissions, with Australia posting the highest emissions of any competing nation apart from perennial front-runner in that category, the United States. While Germany’s is not particularly low for a European country, the strength of the Green movement there means there was only ever going to be one winner. While the extent of Australia’s emissions (16.2 tons per person) is disturbing, it is at least partly explicable by the geography of the country, and it is not without its own progressive policies in that area. Kevin Rudd has applied himself to fixing their environmental policy as much as Harry Kewell’s dodgy groin. He belatedly signed the Kyoto Protocol immediately after entering office in 2007 and Australia were the first country in the world to impose an outright ban on traditional lightbulbs later that year. While they are on track to fulfil their Kyoto obligations, despite being such a late signatory, it is clear they still have much work to do to escape their position as one of the world’s climate villains. In the meantime though, Deutschland über Aussies…

Posted in: Australia, Germany, Germany-Australia

Views expressed here are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of the World Development Movement.